Why is it so hard to receive?
I can give all day long, but to receive takes work.
To receive love. To receive compassion. Even just to receive a simple compliment.
Here's how my brain works around compliments.
Friend: "Your hair looks super cute today."
My brain: "Oh goodness. This is my Day 3 hair. And I really need a trim, and some color. Do you see all my grays?"
Student: "What a great class you taught tonight."
My brain: "I hope I didn't sound stupid. I felt like I was just wandering all over the place. And I can't believe I forgot to tell people they needed a blanket under their head for that second pose!"
Reader: "Loved your blog post."
My brain: "[Sigh.] It took me hours to get those words out of me! And I'm still not really completely happy with it."
All week in my restorative yoga classes I've been teaching the following passage from Seven Thousand Ways to Listen by Mark Nepo.
We usually think of giving as more important than receiving. Yet only by receiving light can flowers grow into their beauty and pollinate the earth. Only by absorbing rain can the earth grow what feeds us. Only by inhaling air can our bodies walk us to each other. Only by accepting each other's pain and vulnerability can human strength grow between us. In these ways, receiving involves absorbing, inhaling, and accepting the life that flows through us, between us, and around us.
And as per usual, I'm certain that I've learned more from it than I've taught. I received more from this teaching, than I gave — a very direct reminder.
I outlined what my brain does when it receives a compliment above, but what I've been practicing outwardly is to just say, "Thank you."
No matter where the brain goes, two simple words come out of my mouth. (You might notice a slight pause before they come out of my mouth — I still have to turn off the brain — but they will come.)
"Thank you."
Friend: "Your hair looks super cute today."
Me: "Thank you."
Student: "What a great class you taught tonight."
Me: "Thank you."
Reader: "Loved your blog post."
Me: "Thank you. That means a lot."
And it does. It means a lot more than the giver will ever know.
Absorb. Inhale. Accept. Open to vulnerability and grow. In every aspect of your life.
Receive.